“No
human endeavor has ever been free of the shadows of corruption and greed. Was
God testing us?”Sister Inese
Adam and Eve
were quite likely the first humans to experience the tempting offer that they
knew was not acceptable, nor advisable.They remembered the words of their Maker about the lovelyapples in the Garden of Eden and for some
time had obediently abstained from tasting the forbidden fruit or any of its
tempting preparations. The message was not clear and, being new at the game,
accepted that the apples were a forbidden fruit. They were not sophisticated
enough to perceive when a subtle reference was being made.
But they did not
count on that damn python whose wisdom in the ways of corruption aided by his
deep knowledge of humans, pre-historic history and even video games, was
difficult to ignore, especially now that the birds had stopped singing. Early
one morning the python approached Eve and asked:
“What are you
doing sitting there fixing more fig leaves for you and that clumsy tree-mate of
yours? You should be out in the open getting a sun tan or picking berries!”
“Oh, I just want
to finish fixing these leaves so that Adam will have some to change. You know,
fig leaves suffer fromrapid oxidation
in its surface pores and its multiple conduits when they are no longer
connected to a liquid flow and can be under the effect of the surface diffusing
action of high contentchlorophyll and
phenoaldeahyde through that dialysis process when they are still attached to
the tree system!”
The python,
whose name was Benedict, nodded in assent even though he didnot understand a word she said. Chemistry and
biology were not his favorite sciences.
“You are right.
You must keep those leaves shiny and refreshing especially when it gets hot and
the air conditioning is not working!”
Eva laughed
aloud and the immediate vicinity of lovely flowers and exotic plants seemed to
lift their collective heads and smile gloriously. Beneditct noticed that at
once and said;
“See, I was
right. The flowers and the plants around us would like to see you smile and
laugh more often.”
“Is that so?”
“Yup. And I have
a surprise for you and Adam. I have felt all along that you two would be
happier if you paid attention to my wise counsel. I just want to see you two
prancing around happy and satisfied; it gives the place another level of truly
Edenic charm!”
She smiled at
Benedict and asked:
“So what do you
suggest, Oh wise reptile?”
“Listen I have
picked some lovely apples and have prepared a lovely Apple Pie, complete with a
light dusting of cinnamon, have included a few raisins and did not forget some drops
of a gentle Sherry from Seville. I want you guys to eat some of it.”
“That sounds
interesting Ben. I will tell Adam the moment he returns from the barber.”
Well, they had a
great party. The pie was divine and both felt that apples in one form of
another had to be added to their daily menus. They expressed their gratitude to
Benedict by catching a young wild hog and offering it to him. They knew that it
would take him hours to ingest and days to digest. It also contributed to that
happy smile on Benedict’s face that would last a few days.
Like all humans however, the joy did not last
long. Eve remembered God’s warnings about apples and mentioned it to Adam. He
shrugged and replied:
“Yes I know
dear. The Old Man gets carried away sometimes. This thing about not eating
apples is another proof that he is exceeding his authority. You see, just
because you can turn a rock into a planet with living things, does not mean
that you can rule everything that moves. Besides, he is so obsessed with apples
that he neglects to forbid things like cigarettes, exceeding the speed limits,
listening to lobbyists and of course, sex!”
She looked at
him and asked:
“Sex? What is
that?”
He told her a
complicated story and, being a conscientious customer, demonstrated, with her
docile help, the stages of such fascinating sport.
God, aware of
what was happening in the new planet, laughed and said to himself:
“Well, well.
Lack of control, incapacity to accept well meaning advise, indifference, lack
of discipline, irresponsible nature, gluttony,falsehood, greed and poor levels of honesty and charity.!”
He shook his
head and concluded:
“I think I
finally got the right race for this decrepit planet!”
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Travels with my Dry Martini
I decided to travel around the world with a Martini glass and to sip this splendid libation in the most fascinating places. As history goes, at least one version of it, the Martini originated in 1870 in Martínez, California where they invented a drink made from sweet vermouth and Old Tom gin and named it after the town. Today, however, I was far from California. I was sitting in a small bar in