Eve in Eden
“No human endeavor has ever been free of the shadows of corruption and greed. Was God testing us?” Sister Inese
Adam and Eve were quite likely the first humans to experience the tempting offer that they knew was not acceptable, nor advisable. They remembered the words of their Maker about the lovely apples in the Garden of Eden and for some time had obediently abstained from tasting the forbidden fruit or any of its tempting preparations. The message was not clear and, being new at the game, accepted that the apples were a forbidden fruit. They were not sophisticated enough to perceive when a subtle reference was being made.
But they did not count on that damn python whose wisdom in the ways of corruption aided by his deep knowledge of humans, pre-historic history and even video games, was difficult to ignore, especially now that the birds had stopped singing. Early one morning the python approached Eve and asked:
“What are you doing sitting there fixing more fig leaves for you and that clumsy tree-mate of yours? You should be out in the open getting a sun tan or picking berries!”
“Oh, I just want to finish fixing these leaves so that Adam will have some to change. You know, fig leaves suffer from rapid oxidation in its surface pores and its multiple conduits when they are no longer connected to a liquid flow and can be under the effect of the surface diffusing action of high content chlorophyll and phenoaldeahyde through that dialysis process when they are still attached to the tree system!”
The python, whose name was Benedict, nodded in assent even though he did not understand a word she said. Chemistry and biology were not his favorite sciences.
“You are right. You must keep those leaves shiny and refreshing especially when it gets hot and the air conditioning is not working!”
Eva laughed aloud and the immediate vicinity of lovely flowers and exotic plants seemed to lift their collective heads and smile gloriously. Beneditct noticed that at once and said;
“See, I was right. The flowers and the plants around us would like to see you smile and laugh more often.”
“Is that so?”
“Yup. And I have a surprise for you and Adam. I have felt all along that you two would be happier if you paid attention to my wise counsel. I just want to see you two prancing around happy and satisfied; it gives the place another level of truly Edenic charm!”
She smiled at Benedict and asked:
“So what do you suggest, Oh wise reptile?”
“Listen I have picked some lovely apples and have prepared a lovely Apple Pie, complete with a light dusting of cinnamon, have included a few raisins and did not forget some drops of a gentle Sherry from Seville. I want you guys to eat some of it.”
“That sounds interesting Ben. I will tell Adam the moment he returns from the barber.”
Well, they had a great party. The pie was divine and both felt that apples in one form of another had to be added to their daily menus. They expressed their gratitude to Benedict by catching a young wild hog and offering it to him. They knew that it would take him hours to ingest and days to digest. It also contributed to that happy smile on Benedict’s face that would last a few days.
Like all humans however, the joy did not last long. Eve remembered God’s warnings about apples and mentioned it to Adam. He shrugged and replied:
“Yes I know dear. The Old Man gets carried away sometimes. This thing about not eating apples is another proof that he is exceeding his authority. You see, just because you can turn a rock into a planet with living things, does not mean that you can rule everything that moves. Besides, he is so obsessed with apples that he neglects to forbid things like cigarettes, exceeding the speed limits, listening to lobbyists and of course, sex!”
She looked at him and asked:
“Sex? What is that?”
He told her a complicated story and, being a conscientious customer, demonstrated, with her docile help, the stages of such fascinating sport.
God, aware of what was happening in the new planet, laughed and said to himself:
“Well, well. Lack of control, incapacity to accept well meaning advise, indifference, lack of discipline, irresponsible nature, gluttony, falsehood, greed and poor levels of honesty and charity.!”
He shook his head and concluded:
“I think I finally got the right race for this decrepit planet!”
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Travels with my Dry Martini
I decided to travel around the world with a Martini glass and to sip this splendid libation in the most fascinating places. As history goes, at least one version of it, the Martini originated in 1870 in Martínez, California where they invented a drink made from sweet vermouth and Old Tom gin and named it after the town. Today, however, I was far from California. I was sitting in a small bar in